Angel of Mercy – Chapter Five excerpt

Some people will always love, some people never lose hope, some people never die…

This excerpt is from The Chronicles of the Grey Raven. Book One, Angel of Mercy, now available on Smashwords and Amazon and Amazon UK

CHAPTER FIVE

Monday, January 13th, 2014

It’s a dark and gloomy day today as I sit down to write this next excerpt. It’s been on my mind the last few days and I couldn’t think about what to write. I guess it’s because mom is reading this as well and I feel awkward knowing that this excerpt is about that day when my safe, comfortable world was upended. For years Cat had been a constant presence in my life. She was there when I woke up and went to sleep. There was never a moment I felt unsafe around her, and on more than one occasion she’d stepped between me and danger. Parent teacher nights were never a cause for concern because she was my staunchest supporter as more than one teacher found out to their cost. But after the accident everything changed and I felt as if I’d been cast adrift and thus writing about it now feels oddly disconnected as if I’m looking at myself through someone else’s eyes, knowing the truth but being unable to communicate it. I spoke to mom about it tonight and she encouraged me to speak my mind.
“I’m the one who did this and you were the one most affected by my actions so tell it like it is and don’t hold back. If you bury the memory it doesn’t die, it just lies dormant waiting for the right moment. You need to let it out and I need to read it.”
She’s right of course, she usually is and so I’m sitting here thinking about it. With the benefit of hindsight, in her situation I’d have done the same thing.
The year 2003 stands out in my mind as being one of the worst years of my life. It was the year I lost the stepmom who had been the center of my life. I was ten years old when her plane went down over the Gulf of Mexico on what was supposed to be a routine flight to Galveston for a two day conference. It was Friday, August 10 and I was with Jana, who had taken me to the mall and then back to her house to watch a film. Dad came to the door at about three in the afternoon and I felt my heart jump because he wasn’t due until five thirty, we had only just made popcorn. He’d been crying and for a minute or two he said nothing to me but spoke to Jana in the kitchen, then he came through and told me her plane had gone down over the sea and we had to go home now and wait for news.
I remember staring at him not registering the fact and then Jana gently put her arm around me.
“There is always hope,” she whispered, “even on the darkest days the sun still shines.”
I didn’t want to believe it. I kept saying over and over, “it’s gonna be all right, it’s gonna be all right,” all the way home. We waited until I fell asleep and in the morning I came through to the bedroom but she wasn’t there and so I sat at the front window and waited. A few hours later the tears did come and dad held me tight. Jana came around with some dinner for us and stayed the night. The following few days are like a blur but a lot of Cat’s friends dropped in to see us. Even mom’s side of the family came to offer condolences and for the first time I can recall, dad allowed Pastor Peskin to say a prayer and I prayed silently too, but God didn’t answer his prayer and so I decided in my heart that me and God were now estranged…

It was a letter written a few years ago. I still have those letters, I think I’ve read them all several times over. There was a paragraph that stood out for me.

‘Sam came home with an A- for her history report but to me she deserves an A+. There’s not a day goes by I don’t sit and stare at her in amazement. My little girl fills my heart with pride. I hope I’m there to see her graduate from college and if by mischance I’m not, I hope she lives each day as if was her last. I hope she remembers that my love for her is as thick as blood and that nothing can ever make me reject her. She is my hope, my joy, my pride.’

I remember crying when I read that bit and Melanie reassuring me, and then dad came through with Elizabeth and he read it as well. He looked emotional as well but dad doesn’t cry, he merely looked at Elizabeth and let me go.
“Elizabeth has made me a job offer but we have to move to Chicago because that’s where I’ll be working,” he paused, “so, what do you think?”
“I,” I took my glasses off and started cleaning them methodically, “I don’t know, it’s not me you should be asking.”
I was so intent on cleaning my glasses that I didn’t notice Elizabeth approaching until she squatted in front of me and gently took my glasses away.
“I can’t bring Cat back for you, but I can do what I promised for her. One of the things she asked was that I look after you and your dad. The job I’ve offered him doesn’t actually exist right now but it will in a month or two. I think what she wants is for you to finish school and live your life. I will look after you because that’s what she asked of me, so what do you say, Sam? Do you want to move to Chicago with your dad?”
I stared at her as she handed my glasses back to me.
“Melanie will be tutoring you in art by the way, she thinks you have talent. I know Cat wanted you to persevere with your drawing.”
“What about Slep?” I looked at dad.
“We’ll get another horse soon, I promise.”
“The hell you will,” Elizabeth smiled crookedly, “Slep and Cat’s horse will be on my ranch in southern Illinois for now until we can find somewhere closer,” she raised an eyebrow, “is that okay with you?”
“Okay,” I managed in a small voice, “okay.”
“You’re gonna make it, Sam,” Elizabeth hugged me briefly, “I promise.”

When my stepmom’s plane went down a part of me died, Cat was my world. In her place she left us to her friends, the Grey Ravens. Over the years I slowly came to realise her death was a mere facade. When we were reunited I learned the truth about Clan Grey Raven and her remarkable history. Some people will always love. Some people never lose hope. Some people never die…
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